Chapter 1 - The Leprechaun

There aren't many folks who believe in creatures of the forest such as elves, gnomes, pixies, sprites, leprechauns and fairies. The ones that do believe is because they had actually seen these elusive little creatures from time to time in the deep forest, dancing about and singing, happy and gay and carefree. Some people even believed that these little folk were immortal and would live on endlessly, each with their own mission. Such a person was Joshua Miller.

Our story begins with a little red haired leprechaun named Patrick Shamus McGee. Patrick, like many other Irish folk who lived back in that time, spoke both the Gaelic and English languages. Gaelic was the ancient Irish language originally spoken by natives of Ireland. Although it is still spoken by some Irish people even today, most natives to Ireland today speak English with an Irish ‘accent’ or ‘brogue.’

Now it's said that all leprechauns owned a pot of gold which they kept buried in secret places in the forest. It was said that the more gold a leprechaun owned, the more magic power he had. It is also said that if a mortal lays hands on a leprechaun, that leprechaun must surrender his pot of gold in order to gain his freedom. Patrick, like all other leprechauns, also had such a pot of gold. In fact, Patrick's pot was bigger and heavier than any of the others. It was so big that he would only leave it buried in one place for a short time until the "Squammies," got wind of where it was and would try to steal it to take away his power. Then Patrick would take it to some other secret place and bury it.

Now because Patrick was such a little leprechaun, and because his pot of gold was so very heavy, he'd have to take frequent rests when carrying it to a new burying spot. Although other creatures of the forest would offer to help, it wasn't Patrick's way to burden others. And that's what got Patrick into trouble in the first place!

Joshua Miller and his wife, Josephine, lived in a little thatched hut on the edge of the giant forest. It was Joshua's habit to take long walks into the deep forest in search of mushrooms and wildflowers. He loved mushroom soup and no one could make it as good as his wife, Josephine. He also knew that Josephine loved fresh wildflowers on the table. One day Joshua was on his way home carrying a full basket of mushrooms and wildflowers. Because he'd been working hard all day and because his load was so heavy he sat down to take a short rest. Suddenly he heard a voice. Now everyone told Joshua what a fanciful imagination he had, so he tried not to pay any attention to the voice at first. But when it persisted, he decided to investigate. Leaving his basket of mushrooms and wildflowers, he tip toed quietly down the woodland path and hid behind a big tree. Very carefully, he peered around it to see where the voice was coming from. Lo and behold, it was a little red-haired leprechaun struggling to carry a very big pot of gold! He was dressed all in green except for the golden buckles on his black shoes, the golden buckle on his black belt and the golden buckle and red band around his caved-in stove-pipe hat. Dangling from one side of his mouth was a long-stemmed, home-made pipe. On his wizened-up little face he sported sideburns and long bristley whiskers, tinged with red and speckled here and there with grey.

Joshua knew that if he showed himself or made any noise, the leprechaun would get frightened and disappear, as leprechauns do. Now Joshua didn't want to frighten the leprechaun, but he did want to help the little fellow, so he hit upon a plan. He would wait until the leprechaun passed by his tree and he would jump out and quickly take hold of him. After the leprechaun stopped struggling, he would explain that he just wanted to help him.

So Joshua remained behind the tree until the leprechaun was rested. Mumbling and complaining under his breath, the leprechaun picked up the pot of gold and continued on his way. When he passed the tree Joshua was hiding behind, Joshua leaped out and caught hold of him. Well, the leprechaun struggled and struggled to get free, but it was useless for Joshua held on tightly. Since the leprechaun knew he didn't have any secret powers as long as a mortal was holding him, he finally stopped struggling and gave up.

"So ye caught me, did ye?" he said to Joshua. "And now I s'pose ye'll be wantin' me gold, right?" The little leprechaun was very upset and indignant.

"No," said Joshua, "I don't want your gold, nor do I need it. My wife and I are quite content as we are."

"Then why in the name of Leprechaun Heaven did ye grab hold of me? Are ye daft or somethin'?"

"No, I ain't daft," Joshua answered. "I heard ye complainin' that your gold was heavy, so I thought I might help ye carry it."

Hearing that, the leprechaun began laughing. He clapped his hands in glee and laughed until his face got as red as his little scarf. Joshua just stood there holding him until he lost his patience. "You're carryin' on like it's you're the one what's daft!" he told the leprechaun.

The leprechaun continued laughing. "It's because I can't believe it's not me gold yer after," he answered between guffaws of laughter. "Ye bein' a mortal n'all, ain't it only natural that ye'd be wantin' me gold? Don't all mortals crave gold?" He started laughing again from deep within his belly.

Wearying of his laughter and his antics, Joshua let him go and just sat down on a rock and waited. "If ye've a mind to stop yer foolish shenanigans, me laughin' little friend, I'll help ye carry yer burden. But I'll not be made a fool of, not by the likes of you, leprechaun or no leprechaun!"

The first thing the leprechaun did when he realized he was free was to make himself invisible. But in doing so, he forgot to pick up his pot of gold. Joshua just sat there watching, not making any moves to take the gold. After a few minutes, Joshua got up and walked back to where his basket of mushrooms and wildflowers were. He picked them up and began walking away. "Hmmph!" he grumbled to himself. "Ye try and help a body out and what happens? He disappears on ye!" He began walking down the path towards the edge of the forest, leaving the leprechaun's gold sitting there on the forest path.

After walking a bit, Joshua heard the leprechaun's voice again. "Now, just hold on a bit, mortal! Don't be in such a big hurry!"

The little leprechaun had made himself visible again and was standing there on the path with his little hands on his hips and the gold sitting between his wide-spread legs on the forest path.

"I've no time for the likes of ye, me little friend," Joshua said, looking back over his shoulder. "Me wife waits at home to make me favorite mushroom soup. Since ye refused me offer of help, I dasn't tarry here any longer." Joshua turned away and kept walking.

"Josephine'll wait for ye, Joshua. I've somethin' to say to ye so why don't ye hear me out?"

Joshua stopped and turned around, a frown appearing on his face. "And just how is it you're knowin' me name?" he asked, "and the name of me wife Josephine too?"

"That ain't important," the leprechaun replied. "What is important is that yer not actin' like other mortals I've come across in me time. Ye have no greed in ye. Others would have grabbed me gold and been off. Might even have refused me offer of a free wish in order to keep me gold. But you...the very likes of ye... you don't even want me gold." He crossed his arms, turned his back on Joshua and tossed his head. "I've a right good mind to be insulted!"

Joshua turned again and started walking away. "As I told ye, leprechaun, I've no need of yer gold."

"Just ye hold on a minute or three," the leprechaun said. He ran over to where Joshua was and looked him right in the eye. "Now ye'll just have to be patient with me a bit, Joshua. I never laid eyes on the likes of a mortal like you and ye got me a bit confused, ye have."

"And how might that be?" Joshua asked. "All I wanted was to help ye carry your pot o' gold. Is that so confusin' to ye?"

"Let me be explainin' somethin' to ye, Joshua. Although I thank ye for the kind thought, I could never let a mortal carry me gold, even to do me a favor."

"Begorra! And why not?" Joshua asked.

"Because for one thing it's against Rule Number Four

Hundred and Three of the Royal Order of Leprechauns for any mortal to know the buryin' place of a leprechaun's gold. And for another thing ye'd be puttin' a mortal curse on me gold forever if ye laid yer grimy mortal hands on it. Now I hope ye understand and won't be takin' any offense at me words."

"Well, since ye put it that way," said Joshua, "no offense taken."

"So," the leprechaun said as he placed his hands on his hips and continued starin' into Joshua's eyes. "Won't ye be tellin' me what I can do for ye? Surely there must be somethin' you're wantin' or needin'? How about Josephine? Don't ye think maybe she'd be havin' a wish for somethin?"

Joshua put his basket of mushrooms and wildflowers down as he bent over to return the leprechaun's stare. "First, me little friend, ye might be tellin' me your name so Josephine won't think I been fantasizin'. She'll think I've been down at the pub again and it's much too early in the day for her to be smellin' ale on me breath."

"Me name is Patrick Shamus McGee," said the leprechaun. "But ye can call me Patrick if ye've a mind to. Now come," he patted the flat rock next to him. "Won't ye tarry with me a spell? I've an obligation to ye, Joshua, and accordin' to Rule Number Seven Hundred and Seventy Seven of the Royal Order of Leprechauns, I can't leave till I grant you a wish. Surely there must be somethin' you're wantin'."

Joshua sat down on the rock opposite Patrick and stroked his chin as he gazed off into the forest to ponder Patrick's words. "Well, now that ye got my brain thinkin' a bit, I suppose I could think up a fanciful wish after all."

"Ah, at last we're gettin' someplace," Patrick said, smiling and rubbing his tiny hands in glee. "Now take your time and make it a real good wish, 'cause ye only get one, ye know."

"That's good," Joshua answered, "because there's only one thing Josephine and I ever really wanted. It just seems that fate hasn't been very kind to us in that department."

"Go on... go on... and what might that be?" Patrick asked.

"A tiny baby. A real, live, tiny flesh and blood baby... that's what we'd like. As you know, Patrick, us mortals don't hang around on earth forever. And when I finally leave here, I'd like to leave my good name with the likes of a real offspring. I've no brothers or sisters, ye see, and I'd like the Miller name to carry on when I'm gone. Do ye think ye might grant me such a wish?"

Patrick was silent, his forehead creased into a deep frown as he thought and thought and thought. "I just don't know, Joshua. That's about the toughest wish anyone's ever laid on me!"

"Hmmph! I thought so!" Joshua said, starting to get up from the rock. "You're just a phony!"

Suddenly the leprechaun's little face brightened and his eyes lit up. "Now just hold on a minute, Joshua. Wait right there and I'll be right back!"

Patrick disappeared in a puff of smoke, leaving his pot of gold there on the ground in front of Joshua, whom he knew would take good care of it. After a few minutes Patrick reappeared again. "Sorry, I had to check on somethin', Joshua. Now, I'll tell ye what I can do for ye."

Joshua sat down again while the leprechaun settled himself comfortably on a rock near his pot of gold and crossed his legs. "Bringin' ye a newborn baby of your own flesh and blood is beyond me powers, Joshua, but I can do this. I happen to know the whereabouts of a little mortal boy baby ye can adopt. He was abandoned awhile ago and me little friends of the forest have been doin' for him ever since. We know we can't keep him for he's a mortal and it's against our code to mingle with mortals."

Joshua's face brightened and he smiled a big smile. "Well, Patrick, me'n Josephine's so desperate fer a little baby of our own fer so long we'll even accept one that ain't our own flesh and blood. How soon can we have 'im?"

"Ye'll find 'im on yer doorstep in the mornin'," Patrick replied, standing up. "I'm happy that ye let me grant ye a wish, Joshua, or I'd be ostracized from the Order. Now, if ye'll allow, I'd like to do one more thing for ye."

"But you said just one wish, Patrick."

"This ain't a wish, Joshua. I'd like to give you a token of me appreciation for not takin' me gold."

Joshua stood up and picked up his basket. "I told ye, Patrick, there's nothin' else I'll be needin'."

"Oh, you're a stubborn one, ye are, Joshua. Very well... since ye won't accept me gift of gratitude, I'll have to follow Rule Number Sixty Three of the Royal Order of Leprechauns and pass it on through to yer tenth generation grandson."

"Oh, so now you're givin' me grandchildren somethin' to remember you by, are ye?" Joshua slapped his knees and laughed. "And just what might that be?"

Patrick reached into his pocket and pulled out a little green box with a glass lid. Inside the box Joshua could see a little golden acorn glowing and pulsating like a heartbeat. "Take this magic acorn as me gift to ye, Joshua."

Joshua took the little green box with the golden acorn in it. "Surely it's the prettiest acorn I've ever seen, Patrick, but what makes it so special?"

"When it's planted by the light of a full, silvery moon, it'll grow into a mighty golden oak tree with golden leaves on it and it'll bear a special kind of fruit."

"I ain't much for fruit, meself," Joshua said, "but maybe me grandsons'll be likin' it. What kind of fruit might it be?" Joshua asked, mystified by what he was hearing.

"T'aint the kind of fruit ye'll be eatin', Joshua."

Joshua looked at the leprechaun and his eye brows raised up. "Begorra, and just what kind of fruit would it be?"

"The kind that'll provide the tenth generation grandson and all his mortal descendants that follow with all of his mortal needs for all time to come."

Joshua's eyebrows raised even higher as he looked the leprechaun straight in the eye. "And there ain't no fancy strings attached?" he asked, suspiciously.

The leprechaun stood toe to toe with Joshua and looked him right back, straight in the eye. "No strings a'tall..."

Joshua recoiled in surprise. "No strings a'tall, ye're tellin' me?"

"Except..."

"Ah, hah!" said Joshua. "I mighta known there'd be a catch somewhere. I s'pose ye'll be writin' another book of rules, will ye?"

"No book of rules, Joshua, just three conditions is all I ask."

"And what, pray tell, did ye have in mind?"

"That he shares 'is secret with no other mortal except his wife or virgin girlfriend. "

"That seems fair enough, me short friend...else it wouldn't be much of a secret, now would it?"

"Secondly, he must always share the fruit of this tree with others."

"Well, now, that ain't no problem for us Millers 'cause we're known far and wide fer always bein' humble and generous, we are."

"But that ain't all, me braggin' friend," added the little leprechaun.

"And what else might ye be layin' on me poor mortal grandson?" Joshua asked, his finger askance his nose and tapping his foot impatiently.

"He must be pure of heart and believe in leprechauns," Patrick answered.

Joshua was indignant. "Are ye daft, man? An' what kind've Irish grandson do ye think I'd be havin' that wouldn't believe in leprechauns?"

"Now don't go gettin' uppity on me, Joshua. Accordin' to Rule Number..."

"Blast yer bloody rules, Patrick," Joshua said, stamping his foot in anger. "Ye'd be doin' me a big favor, ye would, if ye'd just tell me right out how me lucky grandson might get this fruit."

Patrick drew himself up to his full stature and glared back at Joshua. "Now don't be firin' off yer English temper at me!" he said.

"English?"

"Begorra, Joshua, don't you think I knew ye came over from England when ye were just a wee boy?"

"Okay, Patrick. Ye got me there."

"Well, as I began to say, he must sit under the tree, close his eyes and repeat my name three times to himself and whatever is needed most in his life will come to him."

Joshua put his tongue in his cheek and looked at Patrick suspiciously. "Hmm-mm. Sure n' it sounds like a tale right from fairyland to me. How do I know if ye're tellin' me the truth?"

Immediately the little leprechaun flew into a rage. Balling his fist, he hit his open palm a good swat and bared his teeth in anger while his face got fiery red. "Them's fightin' words, Joshua. If ye wasn't an ignorant mortal, them words'd bring ye a duel. How dare ye question me integrity by callin' me a liar?"

"I'm sorry if I offended ye, Patrick. I was just testin' ye."

"I belong to the Royal Order of Leprechauns, Joshua, and I don't know any tales from fairyland." He thought a minute. "I s'pose, now that ye mention it though, we do have a blood relationship to fairies...maybe as second cousins. But no more, mind ye!"

Joshua looked at the golden acorn and then at Patrick. "Just so's I got it straight, Patrick. Would ye mind tellin' me yer full name one more time?"

"Patrick Shamus McGee, it tis."

With that, Patrick grabbed his gold and disappeared into thin air in a big puff of smoke. Just before leaving, Joshua could hear Patrick's grunts and groans as he struggled to carry off his pot of gold.

~ End Chapter 1 ~